Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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