i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
he just fucked me for my cheese.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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