forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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