i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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