Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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