Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
