Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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