The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
