nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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