I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
