btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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