Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
