How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
