My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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