Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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