So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
