Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
