I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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