i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
