Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
