I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
