if you like me you must not know who I am
I just gift wrapped bread.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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