That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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