Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
