my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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