call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
