I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize