you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
