yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
there is glitter all over my balls
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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