he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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