i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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