I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
