Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can't turn off my feet"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
