I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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