so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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