I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
