It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
