please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it glows. i had to have it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
