Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
