i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
