"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
