Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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