If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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