Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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