my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
