i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
