if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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