She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
