Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
