Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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