she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
