sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
