Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
did i walk over a car last night?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
