I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
