ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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