I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
