There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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