My liver just broke up with me...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
