Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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