Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
