I don't usually arrange sex via text message
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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