I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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