Duck Duck Cougar?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
