he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
