I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so let's talk penis.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
